Kid two never got snuggled to sleep – she loved her bed, and wouldn’t sleep till she was in it. She would sigh sweetly, grab her blankey and her thumb and close her eyes. Awesome, but not exactly our doing – I was pretty much incapacitated with an eye thing her first 3 months, and she just worked around it.
Now she’s 22 months and goes down well, but she knows that if she yowls around 8:30 she gets mom time – after sister is finally in bed. She’s pretty sneaky, too.

Whatever works, I say. And a good night’s sleep is valuable for the whole family. Everyone wins when you are more rested.

So I would put him in his crib and I would lay down in the single bed and tell him goodnight. It took about a month, so it wasn’t quick, but it did work.

Good luck!

I have no tips for you, but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this because I thought I should have it figured out by now with number 2. Maybe I’m just normal and not a slacker.

Finally at 10 months, when cuddling him to sleep started taking longer and longer every night (we were up to over 2 hours when I broke), I called a friend, (now on her third child) and who had successfully used a very mild CIO method with her children. I was in tears and desperate.

That very night, I began by doing the bedtime routine we had established (a story, some songs, some prayers) and then put Jake down awake in his crib. I told him I loved him and left the room. I waited 2 agonizing minutes outside his room, listening to him cry. I went back in then, and without picking him up I reassured him and left again.

Five minutes later this time, I repeated the process. The third time I waited another 5 minutes before responding and never went higher than that. It took about four repeats of that process before he fell asleep.

We did it again the next night and it took only 2 tries. The third night he went down on his own.

We backslid during illnesses and teething, but I allowed myself and Jake to be flexible during those periods. Around 18 months of age, he started getting up too early in the morning so I put an alarm clock in his room and told him he had to stay in his crib without crying until the music came on. It took a night or two to get him used to that, but he quickly adapted to that and now sleeps like a champ most nights.

Jake had a lot of health problems as an infant that prevented him from sleeping more than a couple hours at a time. He never slept at night or napped well (if at all) so the sleeping thing was a huge challenge for us. When we started with the mild CIO method, our primary issue was not only the length of time it took to cuddle him to sleep, but also the fact that he was still waking up to 5 times a night. The CIO not only stopped the need for extensive cuddling, but also immediately “cured” him of his night wakings.

He was always a pretty happy, laid back guy, but when he finally started sleeping 10-12 consecutive hours at night, you could really see the difference that made on his overall attitude and on his development.

Lots of luck with whatever you decide. If there’s one thing I learned from speed reading half a dozen books on Children and Sleep at Chapters one afternoon, it’s that no one method works on every child.

With baby number 1, we did the CIO around 7 months. I hated it but I really needed the sleep for my emotional health. It probably only lasted days, but it felt like forever.

With baby number 2, the sleep deprivation was really turning me into an emotional wreck by 3 months and we consulted with a doctor. She advised a “sleep training” method that we instituted right away. It was 4 days and nights of hard work, but we haven’t looked back since. He is an excellent sleeper and if I had another babe, I’d do the “sleep training” regime again. It does require crying it out, but also involves a pattern of minimum sleep schedules, which included having him in bed by 7pm at the latest. Once we got this down and into a good set routine, we’ve loosened up alot (international travel requires it!) and he’s still a good sleeper (at 11 months).

This might be harder to do now at the older age of your son, but I think one of your readers hit upon something really good: if you can start the new routine at the same time as the new big-boy bed, then maybe it will make more sense to him and be easier to integrate.

I know it is so so so tough to tackle! Good luck with it all!

Sidenote: Okay, I had never heard of Pantley but you made my curious with your comment, so I googled her. I’m with bea in wondering why you are deeply offended by her.

i’ve always given them a little baby facecloth and they take that and their fingers and roll over to sleep

i have no idea how to approach this with a toddler, but i agree with you that ferberizing is not th way to go

i think it’s sweet that he will still cuddle…does he have a fave blanket or stuffed animal he could take with him?

whatever you do, it will have to be gradual…hopefully no more than three or four nights to establish a new routine…good luck!

I’m with Bea on the Pantley subject… do tell!