All about Beloved

This went ’round the blogosphere about a month ago and I filed it away for just such a brainless Friday during NaBloPoMo as this, but I first saw it at Slouching Mom’s place so she gets the linky love.

1. Who is your man?

Beloved. (When I started blogging, everyone had a pseudonym. Tristan’s middle name is Louis, so he was Luigi, and Simon’s middle name is Francis, so he was Frankie. It took me about two weeks to realize I couldn’t blog about them without using their real names – it was too awkward and fake, and we don’t have a drop of Italian blood in our combined family lines – but I kept Beloved first for an affectation, and now purely with affection.)

2. How long have you been together?

Twelve and a half years, since March of 1995. Married since July of 1999.

3. How long did you date?

We didn’t exactly date. We lived in separate cities (me in Ottawa, him in London) for eight months but were exclusive from the day we met. For most of that year, I’d drive to London every second weekend. He moved to Ottawa and into my apartment on New Years Eve, 1995.

4. How old is your man?

Two years younger than me. He’ll be 36 at the beginning of December. (Family trivia: with the exception of my mom and dad, in every couple in my extended family – both sets of grandparents, my brother, my cousin, my aunt – the woman is older than the man.)

5. Who eats more?

He does. His favourite snack, as a ‘starving’ student back in the days when we first met, was an entire chocolate freezer cake or a dozen doughnuts washed down with a litre of milk.

6. Who said “I love you” first?

Um, can you believe I don’t remember? I *think* it was him.

7. Who is taller?

He is, just barely. He’s got about two inches on me. I love how we fit together.

8. Who sings better?

Him, no contest. He has a lovely, resonant singing voice that comes from deep in his chest. I couldn’t carry a tune with a wheelbarrow to put it in. Although I do have a better memory for lyrics, which seems patently unfair.

9. Who is smarter?

A couple of years ago, I might have said I am. Now, I’m not so sure. He has more edumacation than me (a university degree in fine arts, a college diploma in animation, and a couple of semesters in a prestigious illustration program) and a much better memory, but I think I’m a little bit quicker of wit — but just barely.

10. Whose temper is worse?

Oh, dangerous question. We both have temper issues. Mine is quicker to flare and blaze out, his is more dramatic when escalated. We are constantly working on this.

11. Who does the laundry?

I’d say it’s a 75/25 split, with him on the 75 side.

12. Who takes out the garbage?

He does. That job is attached to the cat litter in our house, which is all his. One of the niceties of being regularly pregnant!

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

Um, we both do. On the right side of our own beds, that is. He snores and twitches, and I’m a light sleeper, so for now he sleeps in the guest room. I think we’re headed for twin beds once the Player to be Named Later claims a room of his own.

14. Who pays the bills?

I do, which suits both of us. I have obsessive control issues over this one, thanks to my practice marriage.

15. Who is better with the computer?

He is, by far. He even teaches programs like Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. When we first moved in together in 1995, I had a little 486 with Windows 3.0 and knew way more about computers than him. It took less than a year for him to be more facile with computers than me, and he’s since left me in the dirt. I’m good with social media but a Luddite with everything else. Thank goodness for live-in tech support that works for dirty favours!

16. Who mows the lawn?

Mostly I do, because I like to. Same with shovelling the driveway. He does it maybe one time in five.

17. Who cooks dinner?

I cook, he cleans up afterward.

18. Who drives when you are together?

Early in our relationship, I drove the majority of the time. Since the boys were born, I’ve relinquished my hold on the steering wheel – with the exception of road trips, and especially through Toronto. See temper question above!

19. Who pays when you go out?

I think he does most of the time, but I’ve never really noticed.

20. Who is most stubborn?

Me. I’m also more opinionated. And who is most easy-going? That would be Beloved, thank goodness.

21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?

Probably me. I like closure and official endings to disagreements, whereas Beloved likes to just pretend nothing happened. Unfortunately, this prolongs and even escalates a lot of disagreements into full blown arguments.

22. Whose parents do you see the most?

Mine, by far. My folks live around the corner and we have dinner together at least once a week. His dad and stepmom visit us, or we visit them, a couple of times a year, but we haven’t visited his mom in a couple of years.

23. Who kissed who first?

Aren’t these things usually mutual? Neither one of us could resist the magnetic attraction, but I guess he was the more forward of the two of us.

24. Who asked who out?

There was no ‘asking out.’ We met in a bar, and he (no joke) invited me back to his apartment to see his sketches. We were a couple from that first night.

25. Who proposed?

The more of these questions I answer, the more I realize how non-traditional our relationship is. There was never a proposal, from what I can remember. Marriage was always on the table, it was just a matter of when. When we finally went out and bought an engagement ring together, he carried it around the mall and dangled it in front of my nose like a carrot as he went into all his favourite (electronics) stores, knowing for once I was at his mercy. He finally slipped the ring on my finger in the parking lot of our favourite restaurant just before dinner.

26. Who is more sensitive?

Too close to call. We’re both soppy romantics, but I think I’m a little tougher in some respects.

27. Who has more friends?

Me. I’m a social creature, and he maintains that he hates people.

28. Who has more siblings?

We each have one – he has a sister and I have a brother. Having a three-child family is unprecedented in our immediate families.

29. Who wears the pants in the family?

Ha! I’m not answering this question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.